Another bridge!

The people whose stories you will read in these updates are normal Australians who have struggling with issues most of us do at varying degrees  The things these people have been through and are still going through a number who read this will be able to identify with.  These are issues which have been holding these people back from moving on with their lives. 

Strategies have been given to them so that they can begin to live.  Each of these people have given me permission to use their stories to assist others.  Of course any names will be changed.  No one will be able to identiy them by anything that will be written here. 

The truth of what they have been through, how they progress from being almost completely controlled by some of these issues to becoming free, will not be changed. 

They learn how to 'build bridges' not walls!

The first story has been chosen only because this person's name came into my mind when it was decided to record the stories I personally am witness to everyday!  These stories may help others to 'build their bridges'!

This person, lets call him Andrew, first came to me a few months ago with issues appeared to be insurmountable - depression, general anxiety, lack of confidence and self esteem without medication.  When he first appeared it became very evident that he had these issues.  The way he spoke - or more to the point didn't speak!  Not being able to look at me.  Almost apologising for existing etc! 

It took some time for him to be able to talk about himself - his childhood - teen years and now his young adult years - what's effecting him now - you know those 'normal' things which people are asked to talk about in therapy!  As he was growing up he had added to his other 'issues' the realisation of being 'gay'.

One of the exercises he was given was to write down his experience in his last job both negative and positive - he hasn't worked for a number of years so that took a bit of thinking about.  He was to bring what he had written to the next appointment.

At the next appointment we went through the points he had made - he had been extremely deligent.  It became very apparent that the negative list was far longer than the positive.  The points were gone through and discussed thoroughly.  His reaction to the negatives were discussed and suggestions as to another way to look at what had happened.  He was able to discuss I guess for the first time how he really felt when those things happened.  Then the positives were focussed on and the exercise for the next appointment was for him to speak out loud to himself these positives.  Which of course you would understand was extremely difficult for him.
 
He was beginning to build his bridge!!  This bridge would take him on to where he wants to go - to be able to function normally and get on with his life.   I guess you're thinking that is pretty normal stuff that any psychologist would do.  Which would be right.  All that is being done is giving Andrew simple skills to handle each situation that life presents.  The point though is that he didn't have these simple skills - no-one had taught him.  To see this young man change from almost apologising for existing to one who now is embrasing every new 'strategy' he is given. 

Only yesterday - 27/7/2007 - he came in and had much the same look on his face he had when I first met him.  Yes, something had happened which he couldn't handle - his partner had problems and Andrew took on those problems as his own.  It was explained to him what he can do - 1) the importance of not giving advice unless it's asked for.  Not being a parent - just to let the other person know that they are interested in how they are being affected. 2) The difference in being empathetic and sympathetic.  One helps the other to move on.  The other just simply feeds the 'poor me' syndrome. 

The change in Andrew would have to be seen to be believed!  He had learnt another skill - another section was added to his bridge...!